What makes people attractive? In human sexuality we learned that people with perfect or nearly perfect symmetry on their faces were found to be the most attractive. There are cultures in Africa where women put rings around their neck to create an incrediblly long neck, thought to be desirable by men. Also, there are cultures that have women stretch out their lower lip (much like guages in ears) to create an incrediblly large lower lip, also thought to be desirable to men. Chinese women used to crush their feet, making them the size of a doll so men would find them desirable. Sound terrible and painful, right? But, is our culture any different? Women have breasts implants, lipo suction, develop eating disorders etc.. Furthermore, we wear makeup, high heels, tight clothes, dye our hair and paint our nails. WHY? Where did this come from? For me, I started really thinking about this the other day..I was in the bathroom getting ready for school. I was putting eyeliner on and planning on straightening my hair that day. Then, it just struck me: Why do women do this?? Why is it normal to put makeup on? Makeup is color. We are coloring our faces (much like little kids color in coloring books) to make our faces more desirable, to cover up our flaws. Why do we dye our hair? How did that idea even start? Why do straight haired people get perms? Why do curly haired people straighten their hair? Why do most (if not all) women turn away from their natural looks in hopes of looking better...even if it is simply an illusion and will all be washed away with soap and water?
What is beautiful? Think about this. Most people would say that the sunset is beautiful. I agree. But, why is the sunset beautiful? It is simply colors coming together with light. Dog poop is color and light coming together also. Is dog poop beautiful? NO. Yet, what is the difference? How is beauty defined? America says beauty is waif-like bodies with doe eyes, small nose, small feet, plumb lips and large breasts. A few would say there are many definitions of beauty yet, why do most women in America feel the need to look the same as other women, to change their appearance, in order to fit a "standard" type of beauty? Surely, beauty is more than symmetry and light and color. It has to be. What I want to know is this: why do we try to be something that we're not in order to attract men and to make other women nervous with competition? It's silly. Yet, I am guilty of it too. I have been wearing makeup and having a constant battle with my huge curly hair and weight since I was in sixth grade...all around the sametime I started caring whether or not boys liked me. It's pretty obvious to see if women dye their hair and wear makeup. So, if its obvious that you try to change your appearance, why is this STILL pretty? It's obvious that it's fake. Am I making sense here?
I know girls who have had eating disorders. I know girls that have always felt bad and insecure about their faces and bodies. I've had my moments where I've felt awful about my appearance. There is nothing wrong with the way these girls look. It's just that they didn't fit the "mold" of what America says is beautiful.
This is a rough description of what I think beauty is: basically, take a look at the important women in my life: my step-mom, aunt, Hallie, Tracy, and Sarah (adam's fiance)..they are all beautiful. They love Christ and love me. They are honest and warm and thoughtful and kind and funny and free thinkers and free spirits and they think for themselves...i could go on. What I also love about these women is that: all of them feel most comfortable and themselves when they have no makeup on, there hair is natural and they have sweatpants on. That is beauty to me...when you are comfortable with yourself, no matter appearance.
Now, I don't think its bad to wear makeup or change your hair or paint your nails. I just think it's funny that we do it at all.
Cheers to all the girls who, despite what soceity told them about their looks, developed a personality and developed magnificent inner beauty. Cheers to the girls who wear stained pj pants and no bras. Cheers. ...dedicated to Hallie Lambert.
3 comments:
I'm not sure why I color my hair or curl or straighten it. I'm also not sure why I paint my nails or spend money on makeup and expensive hair products. i must have a motivation. I will think on it.
What I do know is that Mark, my husband, could not care less what I do in these areas. He would probably prefer natural in every way, (he likes is when my hair is "sporty" - his word)so knowing that - why do I still do those things? They cost money, take time, etc. so these things, if I say I am doing them for him; I am doing them unnecessarily!!!
I have never been considered beautiful, in terms of physical outward appearance. So, I have had to rely on personality to attract people to me. It takes more work to do it that way, as opposed to being looked at or simply considered, based on being really good looking. So the question is: are my relationships any better because they are based on something that I would say is less superficial?
i read something yesterday that said that women are less competitive than men, and in general, are more coooperative. i have not found that enough in my life. My prayer today is to find ways to cooperate more with women and to not present any type of threat or competitiveness. Even though I am a very strong non-conformist!!! I am looking for some of those women who want to run this race called life beside me. And i have to be willing to adjust my pace to be with them - in the moment. Because, no one will get "there" before anyone else, if we believe that Christ wil call us all to himself at the same time.
The joy is in the journey in every way.
Kelly, this was so fun - please do this again!!
I want to make two points about beauty. First of which is that what is defined as beauty in America has gone off the deep end. The images of beauty that we have had up until recently were fake but they were fake in the sense of makeup, great lighting and the random collection of biological genes that created the image of what people defined as beauty. Now, it is entirely fake. The women we see on magazine covers, movies and elsewhere never existed in the form that we see them. We have Photoshop to thank for this. My evidence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U
My second point comes from one of my favorite subjects in college, anthropology. The change of society to make women feel that they all must be beautiful might be connected to the move from polygyny to monogamy. It is possible that makeup and dyes existed before then but if nothing else this move increased competition for companions.
Example:
A: High status male
B: High status male
C:Low status male
D:Low status male
typical results under polygyny:
A: 3 wives
B: 3 wives
C: 0 wives
D: 0 wives
typical results under monogamy:
A:1 wife
B:1 wife
C:1 wife
D:1 wife
My point here is that the competition among women for males increased when this move occurred. Anyway, something to think about.
Great post. Stay amazing,
Nick
http://www.amazon.com/Toward-Theology-Beauty-John-Navone/dp/0814622720/ref=sr_1_11/103-3651536-5887016?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193922477&sr=8-11
Try that...it's a theological perspective.
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